Sunday, March 13
making strange comparisons. unfair ones at that. i don't know what i'm doing. if i'm trying to get even with someone.. or if that someone is me.. torturing myself.. needlessly?
i don't want to say goodbye yet. but it's so late. the selfish part of me wants you to stay, to wait another year. but you said it yourself. ballerinas have shelf lives. a year could make a difference.. i only hope things happen for the best. but they always do. God has his reasons. even for letting us have all these crazy infatuations that spell out teenagehood. i hope you dance your best. i hope you enjoy yourself...
i could spend hours playing scenarios out in my head. word for word. i think about what i could have said yesterday. i think about the past, the present, the future, and what a messed up kid i am. sorry if i messed anyone up. i know i did. i hope i won't. not anymore. i didn't mean to. i was just being me.
i don't know what to do. how high we fly, only to fall so low.
it must've been love.
12:27 am
xoxo
